Many people think that dating depends on appearance and money. In fact, what really determines whether you succeed or fail in love is often the level of your conversation skills with the other person. The basic ability of chatting is greatly underestimated.
Communication is the cornerstone of relationships
The connection between people begins with communication. In the early stages of love, what you say and the way you listen directly determine whether the other person is willing to continue to get to know you in depth. Many relationships do not end up with good results. The problem actually lies in the first few conversations.
Poor communication is not simply a matter of not being able to find topics. The deeper problem lies in this. One party lacks the means to understand the other party's emotions and needs, and is in a position or has the means to express it so that the other party feels the pressure. Good communication can work in the corresponding direction and lay a solid foundation for the relationship that is not easily shaken. However, poor communication will make the relationship appear to be in a shaky and unstable state from the very beginning.
The art of relaxation and proximity
People with rich love experience often show an extremely calm state. This calmness is not pretended, but comes from a kind of self-confidence that they can be accepted. They can start conversations naturally without showing deliberate or strong purpose.
When in this state, the boundaries of conversation will also become more flexible. For example, you can have slight physical contact at the right time, or discuss some intimate topics calmly without causing the other party to feel offended. The key is to create a comfortable and stress-free atmosphere.
Confidence is the core of charm
A person who has a high evaluation of himself will naturally reveal an attraction during communication. This attraction is not related to wealth or appearance, but is a stable inner state. They will not be eager to prove themselves, nor will they overly please the other party.
It is this self-confidence that makes their words and deeds sincere but powerful. Paired with appropriate conversation skills, they can convey their own value more efficiently and attract the opposite sex to take the initiative to approach them. On the contrary, inferiority and anxiety can easily show up in their words, causing the other party to shrink back.
Beyond superficial attraction
Many men mistakenly believe that women only focus on external conditions. In fact, in long-term relationships, women pay more attention to the emotional intelligence displayed by men in interactions. Impatience, disrespect or lack of self-confidence in the pursuit stage are all fatal.
High emotional intelligence is shown in the details, specifically: whether you can be keenly aware of the other person's emotional changes, whether you fully respect the rhythm of the other person, and whether you can consistently maintain your demeanor when encountering setbacks. These unique qualities have more power to move people's hearts than spur-of-the-moment romantic attacks because they provide a preview of the quality of future relationships.
Keyword listening skills
A practical skill is to listen and capture the key words in the other person's words, especially the words that the other person uses repeatedly. These words often reveal their current focus or emotions. You can naturally repeat the key words to show that you are listening attentively.
This can quickly shorten the psychological distance, causing the other party to develop the resonance of being understood. For example, if the other party confides that "I have been very tired at work recently," and if it is just to provide general comfort, it is better to respond by saying, "Is this tiredness mainly due to inner exhaustion or because there are just too many things?" and then guide the other party to express specific feelings.
The power of transformation and recognition
When facing the other party conveying negative opinions or making self-criticism, good speaking skills are not to refute or educate, but to implement positive transformation. For example, if the other party says something like "Do I have a bad temper?", you can respond with "This shows that you have very high demands on yourself and are not taking things lightly.".
This is not hypocrisy, but giving emotional support. In an intimate relationship, what the other person needs first is recognition and acceptance, not judgment or transformation. This kind of empathy will effectively alleviate the other person's loneliness, thereby establishing a deep emotional connection.
Skills serve sincerity
In order to more sincerely build connections between people rather than manipulate them, we must delve into the art of communication. This is the ultimate goal of learning communication skills. You know, the best trick is to make both parties feel safe, comfortable, happy and happy. Achieving this is inseparable from long-term practical training, and it is even more indispensable to have a sincere intention and sincerity to consider the other party.
When you concentrate on how to make the other person feel understood and valued, your words will naturally become more warm and powerful. The acquisition of happiness is far more complicated and more valuable than temporary attraction.
When you are communicating with the opposite sex, is there ever a moment when you suddenly realize that your words make the other person's eyes light up?
